Self-Confidence !!

We all have dreams. We want to be successful; be respected and celebrated but it turns out that only a selected few seem to be the ones who achieve this goal?.

No one is born to fail but whether we would be a success or a failure is largely dependent on the actions we take or the traits we possess. And confidence easily sits as one of the prominent ones.
Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is important to your health and psychological well-being. Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become successful in your personal and professional life.

When you believe in yourself, you’ll be more willing to try new things.

When you feel confident in yourself, you’re able to devote your resources to the task at hand. Rather than waste time and energy worrying that you aren’t good enough, you can devote your energy to your efforts. So ultimately, you’ll perform better when you feel confident.

If you don’t believe in yourself and cannot stand up for yourself, no one else will. Reason being that even when people try to help you, they would still need you to be bold enough to take a step, sure enough to present your work, willing to advertise those goods, fluent enough to discuss that idea with someone and so on. But if you allow fear to hold you down, then, truth is: there might be no way out for you.

You have to know that if you don’t take a step towards achieving that goal, no one would help you, if you are not bold enough to pursue your dreams, no one would pursue it for you, if you don’t believe in your abilities, and you won’t do so well. You don’t want to look back, and realize the potentials you’ve wasted, the opportunities you’ve missed, and the dreams you’ve left unpersuaded.

Trust me, it is true that if you do not build your dreams, someone else would hire you to build theirs. Would you rather leave your dreams fading away while you help others achieve theirs?

It’s okay to feel scared to take the first step, quite normal to feel incapable at times. It’s not a crime to think you cannot do well as your friend has – but it is very bad to let that fear stop you from leaving your comfort zone. It is not an excuse to let your feelings keep you from conquering new grounds.

When you set out to achieve your goal(s), people will hate you, friends will call you a fool, family members might not support you, you would have a thousand and one reasons why that plan/idea of yours will never work! But in the midst of these challenges, if you hold on, and uphold that idea of yours fearlessly, if you can confidently execute your plans, then nothing can stop you. It all starts with you.

A woman once told me about how her lecturer made her feel like a fool because he never appraised her work the way she would have loved. She said: ‘even the way he criticize me alone is enough for me to know that he just doesn’t like me, but one day he said to me: why do you feel so bad whenever I criticize your work, are you not confident about it?’ When the lecturer asked her that question, her mindset changed, she said.

When Mark Zuckerberg started out, his friends thought his idea was stupid, but today, the social media is basically controlled by this young man. No one ever thought a black could rule America, but Barack Obama did, and till today he is regarded as one of the best man to have ever ruled the country. Do you think people would not have told him he couldn’t? Of course they would have – but he did anyways.

Abraham Lincoln tried to be a governor, failed at all 6 attempts but confidently contested for presidency the seventh time! He would have been called him a fool that failed at being elected as a governor 6 times, and wants to try to be the president – but he kept at it anyways, and he was elected president.

So, don’t feel bad because your idea was challenged, don’t feel rejected because you did not get the support you thought you would get from your family members.

Go ahead and break the bar, dare to think outside the box, be bold enough to submit your opinion, be willing to try again even if you fail at first.

Because if you ever wish to be successful, then you have to be confident, you have to earn it. But if you let fear hold you down, then you should be ready to live with the blame all the rest of your life and be ready to explain your failure to generations to come.

Don’t compare yourself with others,
Whether you compare how you look to your friends or you compare your salary to your friend’s income, comparisons aren’t healthy. The people who compared themselves to others, experienced envy. And the more envy they experienced, the worse they felt about themselves. Just remember, everyone is running their own race and life isn’t a competition.

Self-care,
Make self-care a priority. When you’re feeling at your best physically, you’ll naturally feel more confident about yourself. Make time to cultivate great exercise, eating and sleep habits. In addition, dress the way you want to feel. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the man.” Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.

Face your fear

Practice facing some of your fears that stem from a lack of self-confidence. If you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself or you think that you’re going to mess up, try it anyway. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare or practice, of course. But don’t wait until you feel 100 percent confident before you proceed. You might never get there.

Help someone else
helping someone else often enables us to forget about ourselves and to feel grateful for what we have. It also feels good when you are able to make a difference for someone else. Instead of focusing on your own weaknesses, volunteer to mentor, assist or teach another, and you’ll see your self-confidence grow automatically in the process.

Affirm yourself

Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly.
All is well!!
Here’s a story!

We have a yearly beauty contest in my school where two of my friends are contestants. While one is shy, the other is quite bold. They have both been available for rehearsals, photo shoots and the likes but when it was time to show the audience what they had rehearsed, the shy one couldn’t leave her room. She had the potentials to win but was too shy to make the move, while the other lady was there on stage at the right time, the right position and with the right attitude.

As you might have guessed, this bold, and charismatic lady went on to win the competition while the shy favorite of the competition sat back in her room in fear. When I got to know about this, I thought, “When the desired is not available, the available is desired.”
Factors (in my opinion) that causes a person to have low self-confidence. Some I’ve experienced and some I have observed:
1. Comparison to someone else. 2. Not feeling like they are enough or good enough.
3. Being spoken down to or fed negativity.
4. Focus of importance put on the outer appearance vs the inner.
5. Lack of a good role model in the home/or growing up.

The importance of building up your self-confidence has a lot with you making a conscious decision that you want to make a change in your life or see things work differently. I know some of you are like, I’m good I don’t need these 5 tips, but trust me it never hurts to improve yourself.

1. Recognize The Problem. In order for change to occur you have to know what’s causing you to feel the emotion, you’re feeling. Why are you sad? Depressed? Hateful to yourself? Jealous of others? Angry? Try to understand the answers to those questions and if help is needed, get some from someone you trust.
2. Make A List Of Pros And Cons. This one gets real personal. It involves getting vulnerable with yourself. Make a list of pros and cons about yourself, whether it’s what you’re good at, what you’ve accomplished, or what you like about yourself. I guarantee you the pros will outweigh the cons!
3. Talk To Yourself. People will say this one is crazy, however, it is helpful. In situations where you may falter or that one negative voice pops in your mind, crush it with your positivity of who you are and what you can do. This is helpful especially when you’re approaching job interviews or even when you have an important speech/or public speaking venture you have to follow through on. It has helped me countless times before.
4. Forget Your Failures. Failing is part of life. Everyone has failed at something, even the person you look up to the most! Instead of lingering and focusing on what you have failed at doing, learn from your mistakes and keep on trying. It is not the end for you. This is one of the leading reasons people are giving up on life, however, it should be one of the main reasons we keep trying to better our lives.
5. Use Affirmations/ Affirm Yourself. (my favorite) This may seem light, but it’s a very heavy load! Writing down and even repeating affirmations can boost your confidence sky-high. I have developed this habit lately and it not only makes me confident but it gives me that positive outlet each day. Tip: Make a folder in your notes and write down some affirmations every morning. This has been my ritual and whenever I’m having a bad day, I look back at it. Try it!

Step out today and change the game. You can do it!

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